Category: Brains

Eating on Public Transport Should be Banned

April 15, 2014 | By | Add a Comment

The subject of eating on public transport has been highlighted by the recent eating protest organised on the London underground system. Lots of people seem to think that because they are busy this gives them the right to pollute the space they share on these trains with their offensive eating odors and bad eating habits.

Women Eating on Tube

Regardless of how busy someone is, eating a smelly meal like a Macdonalds or a kebab in a confined train compartment is completely unacceptable. The same applies to buses. We should adopt the same zero-tolerance approach as is taken in Singapore where people can be fined for eating sweets while using public transport.

Now even I think that the Singaporean approach is perhaps going a little too far. Sweets and various small snacks are tolerable, but smelly burgers, chips and kebabs are simply out of the question. And some of the eating habits exhibited by those who feel the need to fill their often over-fed faces with food while travelling, are simply disgusting. Mouth-open eating and mastication is not nice to see and should only be carried out in private. If you have bad eating habits you really need to keep them to yourself.

Is this an unreasonable position to adopt? Is it wrong for the Women Who Eat on Tubes site to publish pics of women scoffing while on London’s tube trains? There is certainly nothing wrong with promoting high standards of behaviour and good manners. This is an aspect of modern life which has declined enormously and everyone would benefit from the occasional reminder of what is acceptable and what isn’t. But focusing solely on women who eat on tubes is very one sided. Some of the most disgusting eating behaviour that I have witnessed has been from men so perhaps another website is needed. And these bad habits are not confined to the London tube system. Buses are equally treated as snackbars by travelers who think nothing of boarding a bus and then tucking into their fish and chips, which they eat with their fingers. These are the same fingers they use to handle filthy cash and touch the various communal handles that are covered in man-eating bacteria. Clearly, hygiene education is sadly lacking.

And its not just the eating which causes offence, its the mess that is left behind. Some people think nothing of dumping their half-eaten Chicken Raita salad wrap from Pret a Manger on the floor of the tube compartment when they have had enough. There is always unavoidable mess when someone eats food, that’s why we use napkins in restaurants. And where does this mess go when on public transport? It goes into the space that is shared with other passengers so why should they be forced to share their travel space with someone else’s stinky food, bad manners and food waste?

Stroke surgery activates artistic talent!

June 3, 2009 | By | 2 Comments


The Nurse is amused to read today’s Daily Mail story about stroke victim Alan Brown.

Alan recovered from 16 hours of surgery only to discover a completely new talent. Suddenly he’s painting like a man possessed, well enough to pass a fine art degree. Before his operation he could barely draw a stick man.

Some people, as The Nurse knows very well from decades here in prison, aren’t so lucky.

Take Simon, the guy three cells down. He was a Fund Manager with a massive gaff in central London, a trophy wife and two nice kids in public school before he was clonked on the head by a passing felon toting half a brick.

His brain injury left him completely unable to resist draping himself from head to toe in bling, designer frocks and Jimmy Choos. Harmless in itself. But the police took a very dim view when he took to accosting small boys outside the Co-Op in Mayfair, claiming to be their Mummy.

Others are more fortunate. Wayne in cell seventy six arrived here convicted of mass murder, kidnapping, arson and starting – single handedly – several vicious wars in lesser known African countries. A proper nutter who smelled like a stoat. Gimlet eyes, permantly moist palms and an unfortunate twitch. The type of bloke who’d cut your goolies off for a quid, never mind sell his granny.

A judicious yet wholly experimental bash on the head by The Nurse soon sorted him out. These days we call him Saint Wayne. He’s helpful, self effacing and immaculately polite. Since his ‘illness’ he’s developed a talent for acting out every single episode of Shameless, word perfect, which makes him a popular chap. And, best of all, when The Nurse and her fellow inmates get bored he lets them crucify him. He says he likes it.     

World recession: are we ‘psychic’?

February 9, 2009 | By | 4 Comments

imageRats appear, on a mysterious level, to be ‘psychic’ 

Last week New Scientist reported that rats in the US seem to ‘learn’ novel new behaviors that only rats in Europe have been exposed to… without any physical contact.  Over thousands of miles, most of which is ocean. What’s going on – some kind of collective consciousness? Nobody knows. Yet.

Which set The Nurse wondering: are humans  ‘psychic’ (she uses the term very loosely) too?  No reason why not – like rats, we’re intelligent mammals . Our survival instincts are just as strong. 

Let’s face it, everyone knew things couldn’t go on as they were. We couldn’t keep guzzling gas, wasting resources, reproducing like bunnies without a care for the planet’s finite resources.  Or our fellow creatures. 

But how to stop? How to change? By way of a massive worldwide financial collapse, that’s how. Did we – The Nurse muses – collectively bring about the current economic nightmare unconsciously in a desperate species-saving attempt at a fresh start?

The Nurse hopes so. There’s always an equal and opposite positive to every negative. Is the positive side of today’s economic pain the opportunity to make amends, make things better, start again before it’s too late, before we wreck the place completely for our children? To be clean and unselfish and kind instead of greedy, ugly and short sighted?

A big brain has its disadvantages. We’ve overlaid all the instinctive stuff our animal relatives rely on with logic and speech, imagination and reasoning. But perhaps the human race’s collective consciousness is alive and well, working its magic  while we run in circles wondering what’s going on.

Anything that keeps The Nurse stimulated and intellectually alive here in clink is a bonus.

What Are We If We Don’t Help Others?

March 30, 2008 | By

Storyville, on BBC 2 today (30th March) at 2250, tells the story of Henry Marsh, one of the UK’s most respected neurosurgeons, and the wonderful, life-saving work he carries out in the Ukraine.

Henry has teamed up with a Ukrainian surgeon, Igor Petrovich, who is trying to make a difference in a country where the lack of surgical resources means that people are becoming disabled and dieing due to tumours that would easily be removed here in the UK. Henry visits the Ukraine at least twice a year, taking with him discarded medical equipment from St. Georges hospital in London. He shares his expertise and helps to perform complex operations with Igor.

The lack of resources often means that they need to improvise. Henry has had to use a normal DIY Bosch drill, bought in a local market, to make holes in a patient’s skull in order to remove a life-threatening tumour. As Henry himself has said:

“What are we if we don’t try to help others? We are nothing. Nothing at all.”