'General' Category
Intelligent design gets a plain language pasting!
The Nurse has always felt - and thought - that the concept of god was a bit silly. As a small child in the ’70s she was sent home from junior school with a note saying that a girl who didn’t believe in god shouldn’t come to the christmas party. But she stuck to her guns. Logic […]
We are not getting the real news.
“I wear this expression when I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared…”
We’re being fed news through a screen of total hysterica
The Nurse is well acquainted with rose-tinted glasses. She needs to be, locked up in here with water dripping down the walls and all those nutters groaning and banging in nearby cells. But she’s getting riled up about […]Ridiculous news part 2… The Nurse rants on
TV in prison isn’t always a benefit. The Nurse is finding the news particularly irritating at the moment. Thankful for the opportunity to vent, she scribbles by the dim light of a crescent moon, her paper criss-crossed with shadows. In the next cell, someone weeps and gnaws at the bars…
More things that make The Nurse very, very cross. And […]Forget the Rich List. Here’s the Ridiculous List.
The Nurse has a lot of time on her hands at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. Which is why she’s typing this post from underneath several unfurled and chaotic rolls of Elsan toilet roll. You know, that crinkly stuff that’s about the same thickness as tracing paper and twice as shiny. And utterly non-absorbent. Dreadful for personal hygiene but highly effective for writing lists.
This […]The Nurse takes on a freelance copywriter
Website copywriting isn’t as easy as it looks!
The Nurse has always believed that she can turn her formidably capable hand to almost anything. After all, she taught herself trepanning from scratch. Painstaking practice, as well as giving herself permission to make mistakes in the interest of medical advancement, have been instrumental in her success as an amateur brain […]World Leaders: Bush, Brown, Merkel, Ahmadinejad and Putin a ‘bunch of twats’
The Nurse, brooding in Solitary after an unfortunate lapse in discipline, is immeasurably cheered by the headline, ‘Brighton-based World Leaders release fifth short political animation’
The Nurse likes her humour grounded in intelligence. From that basis, wild flights of fancy go down well. Political incorrectness and irreverence are a must. Swearing’s always funny when used unexpectedly, by unexpected people in unexpected […]I named my (fill in the gap) Mohammed!
Mohammed
Fully aware of the risk of having a fatwa raised against her, The Nurse has spent the morning wrenching back common sense from the hands of the nutters. Mainly by re-naming things.
The prison cat, previously named Little Baby Jesus by the inmates, has been re-named Mohammed. Each inmate has signed an agreement to change their christian name to Mohammed (causing some confusion, soon remedied with a […]Just say no to children: 5 great reasons to stay child-free!
The Nurse occasionally makes extra pocket money writing website copy. At the moment she’s writing about how to tone up weakened pelvic floor muscles. Which is all rather unpleasant and reminds her why she’s never wanted children!
Just about everyone has kids but that doesn’t mean it’s de rigeur. It’s a choice. In the hope that lots of bouncy, fertile young females and hormone-tortured […]Feed ecstasy to the masses!
The Nurse doesn’t get out much. But she devours the TV news avidly from her cell. So it grabbed her attention when a senior UK police officer recently recommended we make all drugs legal and face the consequences, rather than spending obscene amounts criminalising drug users as well as the abusers.
Millions of ordinary law-abiding […]Oxymorons
The Nurse’s current favourite contradictions in terms:
hospital food
US intelligence
corporate entertainment
express till
adventure holiday
safe sex
english summer
