'Phenomena' Category
Intelligent design gets a plain language pasting!
The Nurse has always felt - and thought - that the concept of god was a bit silly. As a small child in the ’70s she was sent home from junior school with a note saying that a girl who didn’t believe in god shouldn’t come to the christmas party. But she stuck to her guns. Logic […]
We are not getting the real news.
“I wear this expression when I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared…”
We’re being fed news through a screen of total hysterica
The Nurse is well acquainted with rose-tinted glasses. She needs to be, locked up in here with water dripping down the walls and all those nutters groaning and banging in nearby cells. But she’s getting riled up about […]Ridiculous news part 2… The Nurse rants on
TV in prison isn’t always a benefit. The Nurse is finding the news particularly irritating at the moment. Thankful for the opportunity to vent, she scribbles by the dim light of a crescent moon, her paper criss-crossed with shadows. In the next cell, someone weeps and gnaws at the bars…
More things that make The Nurse very, very cross. And […]Forget the Rich List. Here’s the Ridiculous List.
The Nurse has a lot of time on her hands at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. Which is why she’s typing this post from underneath several unfurled and chaotic rolls of Elsan toilet roll. You know, that crinkly stuff that’s about the same thickness as tracing paper and twice as shiny. And utterly non-absorbent. Dreadful for personal hygiene but highly effective for writing lists.
This […]Ghostly Apparitions at Edinburgh Airport
After having read a recent report of a ghostly orb photographed near Edinburgh airport we have been interested to hear of other paranormal activity in the vicinity of the popular airport.
Ian, a transfer bus driver who works for Edinburgh airport car parks, has reported several sightings of ghostly apparitions around the airport. Now you might […]I named my (fill in the gap) Mohammed!
Mohammed
Fully aware of the risk of having a fatwa raised against her, The Nurse has spent the morning wrenching back common sense from the hands of the nutters. Mainly by re-naming things.
The prison cat, previously named Little Baby Jesus by the inmates, has been re-named Mohammed. Each inmate has signed an agreement to change their christian name to Mohammed (causing some confusion, soon remedied with a […]Just say no to children: 5 great reasons to stay child-free!
The Nurse occasionally makes extra pocket money writing website copy. At the moment she’s writing about how to tone up weakened pelvic floor muscles. Which is all rather unpleasant and reminds her why she’s never wanted children!
Just about everyone has kids but that doesn’t mean it’s de rigeur. It’s a choice. In the hope that lots of bouncy, fertile young females and hormone-tortured […]Save the planet? The planet’ll be fine!
Is the human race in massive denial?
Whatever damage the human race manages to wreak, our lovely blue planet will ultimately survive. It’s not going anywhere. When we talk about saving the earth, surely that’s not what we mean?
In actual fact, what everyone’s running around in a panic trying to ’save’ is the human race. Without […]Air freshener craziness
We used to go outside for fresh air. WTF’s going on?!
We have noticed a fast and frightening increase in the number of air freshener adverts recently. The increase seems to directly parallel that of disinfectant sprays: the huge and expanding choice of products that purport to kill germs and remove bacteria from our persons and […]Builders to the King
Bromley Brothers Builders are a reputable Sussex building firm who have undertaken many interesting and challenging projects over the years they have been in business. We at Amateur Brain Surgery were particularly interested when we heard about a property development project they were carrying out out in West Worthing. The client turned out to be […]
