cosmetics

The Nurse wonders how many women realise that the claims made by skincare manufacturers are utter bollocks.

Cosmetics companies have always relied on subjective assessments of the improvements their products make to women’s skin. Why? Because until very recently there’s been no scientifically valid way to test their claims.

So skincare advertising is all pretty words with no substance. Or - as The Nurse’s Mum would say - ’fur coat and no knickers’. Basically all they do is get a load of gullible women to test their skin products and report back with the results.  Hm. 

Even cosmetic giant Proctor & Gamble’s Rosemary Osborne says that testing the effectiveness of skin care products has, so far, always been ‘totally hit and miss’. 

Anti-ageing creams and potions are the worst offenders. They take junk science to a whole new level. Which would be amusing if everyone understood it was nonsense.  The thing is, a lot of women are so desperate to retain their youth that they’ll believe anything.

Here’s the facts. The scientific language you hear on skincare ads is meaningless rubbish. Some cosmetic manufacturers even employ advertising consultancies to create fictional consumer organisations, research bodies and scientific forums. Why? So they can quote made-up ‘facts’ and ’research’  from these  ’independent’ sources in their ads.

If you’re a person who worries about getting older, there’s hope on the horizon. Cosmetics researchers are confident that new techniques for testing the genetics of human skin will eventually deliver clues about how to create anti-ageing and skincare products that actually work.

But there’s also an interesting underlying issue. Why are so many women so terrified of looking older? What’s the big deal?

The Nurse is enjoying ageing. OK, at forty six her physical self is heading South fast. Everything that dangles is becoming a tad too dangly for aesthetic comfort. But, on the bright side, The Nurse’s spirit gets prettier by the minute. And she gets a tiny bit wiser every day. 

On balance she’s happy with the deal: as the outside falls apart, the inside flourishes and grows. Now that The Nurse thinks about it, there’s a pleasingly logical symmetry to the business of getting old. After all, your body isn’t really you. It’s just where you live.

Until the new science bears fruit The Nurse recommends that women cease and desist spending vast amounts of wonga on anti-ageing lotions and potions. There’s absolutely no proof that they work. Zero. Nothing.  Spend the money on shoes instead… you’re worth it!

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