Amateur Brain Surgery

I felt prompted to write this post in response to the arrest of British schoolteacher Gillian Gibbons in Sudan. My Amateur Brain Surgery Club colleague (The Nurse) also appears to have been spurred into responding to this incident by changing her name to ‘The Blessed Virgin Mary’ and changing the name of the prison cat to Mohammed. Her way of ‘wrenching back common sense from the hands of the nutters’ as she puts it.

My neighbours keep pedigree pigs. They have a sheep farm but they keep about a dozen porkers, roaming in free range happiness until they reach optimum size and maturity at which point they are slaughtered and sold. The animals are often bought for large outdoor occasions that require a pig for a hog roast.

My neighbour’s children like to name the new piglets that come along each year but the children don’t appear to develop overly sentimental attachments to the animals. I remember being highly amused at a Sunday lunch at their house. My partner and I were treated to some of the best roast pork we’d ever enjoyed but the family were continuing to refer to the meat as ‘Apple Sauce’, which had been the name given to the pig when it was just a piglet.

Back in 2005 or maybe 2006, just after the controversy over cartoons of the Islamic Prophet Muhammad in a Danish newspaper, my neighbours had a new litter of piglets to name. Not surprisingly, since the name had been in the news so much, the children chose to name one of these pedigree porkers Mohammed. This was the source of much amusement in the village pub and Mohammed the pig has gone on to become something of a local celebrity with appearances at local fetes and agricultural shows.

The reasons I am reporting this story are these: Were my neighbours children wrong in naming their pig ‘Mohammed’ without thinking about any offence that may be caused? Since they are aged only five and eight I don’t think so. Were their parents wrong in allowing the pig to be named Mohammed? Of course not. In this country it is not an offence, although some may find it offensive. Should we pander to the sensitivities of those who would have us all living in fear? Of course we shouldn’t. Was Gillian Gibbons wrong or insensitive to have allowed her class of youngsters to choose the name Muhammad for their teddy bear? Of course not!

What we do need is more irreverence and more pigs named Mohammed, Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, God, Vishnu, the Pope….

Thanks to my old friend and colleague at tonetek for allowing me to voice my opinions without restraint.