I named my (fill in the gap) Mohammed!
Mohammed
Fully aware of the risk of having a fatwa raised against her, The Nurse has spent the morning wrenching back common sense from the hands of the nutters. Mainly by re-naming things.
The prison cat, previously named Little Baby Jesus by the inmates, has been re-named Mohammed. Each inmate has signed an agreement to change their christian name to Mohammed (causing some confusion, soon remedied with a cunning alpha numeric sub-classification system). The screws (wardens, to foreign visitors unfamiliar with Her Majesty’s slang) are all wearing new name badges: ‘Burly’ Brian Mohammed, Ted Mohammed, Shirl Mohammed and Mr Jones Mohammed. Last but not least Mohammed Mohammed, the prison’s IT Manager, has changed his first and surnames, by deed poll, to ‘Christ’. He’s Moslem.
None of which will make a blind bit of difference to the silliness going on abroad. But it makes The Nurse (AKA The Blessed Virgin Mary) feel marginally better. Almost as though she’s regained some good, old fashioned freedom of speech for the world. A feeble last gasp of rebellion in favour of a far-off Utopia where she could’ve called her teddy bear ‘Hitler’ without anyone being particularly bothered. A place where you weren’t hung, drawn and quartered for naming your school hamster ’Jehova’. A place where The Nurse could run, wild and free, with the metaphorical wind of eloquence running unrestricted through her hair…
