Amateur Brain Surgery

If you’ve read my previous post you will know that my doctor has just told me that my expanding waistline is the cause of my current embarassing incontinence problem. So I am now more determined than ever to shed those flabby excess pounds that have kept me from looking at myself naked in a mirror for many months.

I used to be a very active part-time amateur DJ, playing parties and the occasional club night here in Brighton. But I stopped when I was lucky enough to trap a poor unsuspecting girl into a long term relationship. Back in my DJing days I was slim. Hardly an ounce of excess flab anywhere. Lugging DJ equipment in and out of pubs and clubs at weekends, combined with frenetic dancing to high energy dance tunes, kept the fat at bay.

These days my girlfriend and I spend most evenings glued to the television while gobbling huge bars of chocolate, packets of crisps and lots of biscuits. And when we go out we no longer go clubbing. We go to restaurants and stuff our faces even more. This has now all stopped.

Here is my all-new DJ weight-loss plan:

• No more fattening snack-grazing in the evenings
• More fresh fruit and vegetables in my diet (on doctors orders)
• More water to be drunk instead of sugar laden soft drinks and beer
• Walking to and from work each day
• Take a walk every day at lunch time (rather than go to the pub)
• Teaming up with an old DJ friend to help carry his gear to gigs, which he has most weeks
• Hopefully take an occasional turn on the decks and get back into a bit of DJingDo a lot more dancing!

I’m not going it alone with this plan. My long-suffering girlfriend also has a few pounds to shed so she’ll be working with me.

So I’m optimistic that very soon I’ll be able to fit back into some of my old clubbing clothes and my embarassing little problem will go away. Bring on the glow sticks!