New religion proposed for atheists
The Nurse proposes a sensible, fulfilling, fun spiritual framework for atheists and sceptics
The Nurse has been an atheist since early childhood. But, when bored last week, she invented a spiritual framework. If yuo can’t beat them…
It’s just a shame that – owing to past indiscretions and lapses of judgement – she’ll never be taken seriously as a spiritual leader. The Nurse supposes she’s a bit of a minger these days, which doesn’t help break into a celebrity culture. She hasn’t been let anywhere near a mirror for decades. But then again, Mother Teresa was no oil painting…
The Nurse rejects gods, rules and guilt. She doesn’t do deities and mythical beings. In The Nurse’s ‘religion’ you don’t need to join anything, commit to anything, pay anything, give anything or give anything up. You don’t have to feel guilty, regret, repent or feel bad about anything. You don’t have to pray or worship or go anywhere.
The Nurse types far into the night, gimlet eyes gleaming in the light of a smelly stub of candle retrieved from its hiding place in her toilet bucket. This is what she writes:
- Think positively all the time. Believe the best of people. Smile. Be polite. Commit acts of random kindness. Be generous with yourself. Give a few quid away when you can
- Know that you’re a really great person, even if you’re actually a bit of a shit! Be kind to yourself. When you’re chatting away to yourself in your head, have respect
- Treat other beings, whether they’re human or furry or many-legged, the way you’d like to be treated yourself
- Forgive yourself for all the nasty, mean, dishonest things you’ve ever done. Then forget them forever
- Live in the present. The past is dead and gone. The future doesn’t exist
- If you’re worrying about something that can be changed, change it. If you’re worrying about something you can’t change, worrying is pointless
- You’re directly related – at genetic level – to every living creature that has ever existed on earth. Even viruses and algae
- Don’t gossip, tell tales, spread lies, stir trouble or interfere in people’s business
- Every living thing is equal. Don’t kill things even if they’re small and scuttly with too many legs for comfort. They have just as much right to be here as we do
- Follow your own compass. Don’t do things you don’t want to do; say no. Life’s too short for obligations, guilt and resentment
- Put yourself first. When you’re happy you have love left over to give back to the world
- Do your best to look after the earth. It seems rude to trash it
- When you die, that’s the end. But spark of pure energy that made you alive will still exist. The chemicals that make up your body will decay back into the earth and air, and those molecules will still exist. That’s enough mortality to satisfy your ego!
Ribs wrote,
Some good thoughts from the nurses cell. It is a pity indeed that her past indiscretions and lapses in judgement mean that we’ll never benefit from her spiritual leadership.
Link | October 14th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Clarins wrote,
I like your “way of being” approach to spirituality. I personally favour the hindu approach with a multitude of gods for ever conceivable occasion or circumstance.
Link | October 14th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Gray from refinancement hypothèque wrote,
I am not an atheists nor a religious person, but I also follow the 11 stuff written up there — maybe I even have more. I make my own rules, I follow whats right or wrong, good or bad basing from the code of ethics, morality and personal belief.
Despite of what I’ve said, I still believe that there’s a powerful existence of an unexplained energy. In my mind, God exists – one cannot prove this.. the heck I care.. it needs not to be proven anyway – this is called faith.
Link | November 23rd, 2008 at 3:42 am