Category: Old Age

The Oldest Swingers in Town

August 4, 2009 | By | 4 Comments

old_people_signI’ve recently heard that some of our more senior citizens have been enjoying group sex sessions in their nursing home.

A colleague, whose 76 year old grandfather recently moved to the home, told me that his horny old grandpa couldn’t believe his luck when he arrived in the old-peoples home where men are outnumbered by a factor of about 6 to 1 by elderly merry widows. No sooner had he unpacked his bags when another older gent told him that Friday night was fun night so make sure he wore some clean underwear.

When Friday night came around it soon became clear exactly what his new chum was talking about. Staffing on Friday nights is normally at a minimum so the randy wrinklies were getting together, after hours in their television room, for a little more than a game of bingo, without fear of being caught.

One of the sagging senior ladies was clearly the ringleader. She had come to the party fully-armed with KY-Jelly, a couple of huge Rabbit vibrators and a little bottle of those magic blue pills, Viagra. She even had a little baggy of marijuana to really get the party going.

The mood was set with some 1940s swing music a few scented candles and a bottle of scotch. My friend’s grandpa and his newfound buddy were soon greasing their chemically enhanced truncheons ready to service the cock-hungry grannies. The amorous arthritics really know how to have a good time. The oldest, seasoned seductress was apparently the ripe old age of 92 and the youngest a spritely 74.

My friend tells me that the old girl who initiated the Friday night sex and drug parties has now suggested that they video their sessions. Personally, I don’t think I would like to come across video footage of my old grandpa engaged in group sex with a bunch of sex-starved silver-haired knob-chompers. But as long as they’re enjoying themselves, what’s the harm.

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BTW – I’ve just gotten myself some mobile insurance after having my phone stolen while out shopping. If your phone isn’t insured you might want to check it out.