Category: politics

Looking at the World Through Green-Tinted Glasses

October 24, 2014 | By | Add a Comment

green grassThe Nurse is disgusted of Brighton. Or Hove, actually. How come those spiritually ugly idiots at UKIP have been awarded a coveted spot in the pre-election telly debates while the caring, sharing, future-minded Green Party have been left out? 

No Green Party presence on pre-election TV debates? WTF?

She might not seem like the planet’s most right-on individual, being a mass murderer and all, but The Nurse has been Green all her life. And she’s astounded at the omission. After all she lives in Brighton & Hove, where the Green Party has been in charge for some time now. In fact she has lived in the city since 1982, during which time things have changed beyond all recognition. They’ve mostly changed in a good way. And much of the positive change has come about thanks to the Green Party.

You can call her a hippy if you like… or if you dare. If she hears you she’ll rip your head off, post it down your throat and rip you a fresh arsehole while she’s at it. Not that she’s defensive or anything. But The Nurse believes that every aspect of life, no matter how prosaic, is much better approached through green-tinted spectacles.

Dick-brains ahoy

The Nurse is busy protesting through every medium she can get her well-manicured hands on. As are plenty more people who believe a fair and equitable world isn’t one where UKIP gets a voice and Green politics doesn’t. She hopes fervently that the BBC and the other dick-brains involved in the TV election debate scandal will change their minds.

Is Green Party inexperience a bad thing?

The Greens may be inexperienced. But if it means she gets representatives like Cameron, Farage and, going back a bit, Tony Blair and the dreaded Margaret Thatcher, The Nurse doesn’t think experience counts for much. She’d rather have fresh and relatively inexperienced leaders than more of the same old guff, the same old environmentally mental policies.

Green pubes

In  personal and private protest, known only to herself and Betty, The Nurse has dyed her pubic hair green. It might be a private protest but the very sight of her pea-green pubes every morning and evening, as she dresses and undresses, fires up her anger all over again. And, as The Nurse knows full well, her anger is powerful stuff…

Public sector pensions strike bollocks

November 29, 2011 | By | Add a Comment

The Nurse has spent all day lumbering along in the pouring rain, still heading steadily south, ranting about tomorrow’s strikes.

How she despises the Unions. At a time when everyone is faced with poorer pensions, a longer working life and bigger pension contributions, they’re throwing their toys gleefully out of the pram. And their members are following suit like selfish sheep. Baaaaah.

If she worked in the public sector, The Nurse would like to think she’d see beyond her own self-involved nose and realise that everyone, wherever they work, will have to put retirement off a few years, pay more into their pensions and get a worse deal.

Striking public sector workers are acting like they’re being picked on. In reality they’re just being asked to shoulder their share of the burden gracefully like everyone else.

That’s not what The Nurse calls cricket. Do the Unions have their own interests at heart?   She hasn’t heard such joyful rhetoric since the Miners’ strike in the ’80s. They must be wetting themselves with excitement.

Humph. The Nurse’s foot hurts and to be honest, it doesn’t smell too good. If she was a qualified nurse, the real deal, she’d know what to do about it. But she isn’t, so she has forced a load of spider webs into the wound and bound it with a clean hanky she’s been saving for emergencies.

The thing is, every time she stops for a rest it gets harder to start again. So she’s keeping going, skirting the marshy, flat, chilly fens of Cambridgeshire, delighted during the day by the wide sweep of sky and serene patchwork of vast fields.

Now night has fallen, it’s more of a challenge. But she can’t afford to fanny around being ill. If the worst comes to the worst, she can always amputate. The Nurse isn’t scared of pain. Quite the reverse.

A pink sickle moon tonight, floating low-slung in the inky sky. Owls. Rustling leaves. A fox stops, observes her briefly then trots off across the ploughed field. Cold…

Give Iran Their Very Own Nuclear Bombs

February 8, 2010 | By | 9 Comments


Plenty of countries, the UK and US included, have massive stocks of nuclear weapons.

OK, we’re not supposed to be building new ones and there’s a non-proliferation agreement in place. But – she has said it before and she’ll say it again – The Nurse still thinks it’s naive to expect Iran to abstain from nuclear weapons altogether.

It’d be a different story if very few or no other countries had nuclear bombs. Or if everyone was busy de-commissioning and dismantling them hell for leather, openly for all to see. 

But that isn’t happening. Countries with nuclear weapons are hanging on to them, reluctant to let go. 

The Nurse is neither surprised nor outraged that Iran seems to be moving towards making a few nuclear bombs of its own. She would too if she were them. Why? To keep things fair and create balance; some bargaining power and security while the rest of the world fannies around getting its non-nuclear act together… which could take decades. 

So, what to do? The Nurse proposes the UK, US and all the other nuclear powers each donate a nice, shiny bomb to Iran. Then we’ll all be on a level playing field and nuclear disarmament negotiations can start in earnest.

Until then Iran will doubtless remain justifiably pissed off and pressurised. Feeling pissed off and pressurised makes The Nurse feel provocative. She’s extremely dangerous when cornered. The same probably goes for Iran.