The Secrets Behind ‘The Science Bit’ – Hair Care Exposed
The hair care industry has got us all by the short and curlies. But The Nurse discovers that there’s much less to shampoo and conditioners than you might think.
You don’t get many luxuries in prison. The Nurse has often bemoaned the lack of decent shampoo. Most of the time her hair looks like a bird’s nest.
So she was cheered to discover that almost all the ingredients in shampoo have bugger all to do with hair care. They’re mostly there to improve the appearance, smell, texture and shelf life of the stuff itself.
It’s no surprise that hair care TV adverts are actually bollocks. But The Nurse was intrigued to find out just how much of hair products’ contents are superfluous.
The detergent element, usually between 5-20% of a shampoo, cleans your hair. The rest of the stuff you’re paying for is:
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loads of water
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bubble boosters, because detergent doesn’t foam on its own
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oils to counteract the detergent’s drying effect
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emulsifiers to make the oil mix with the water
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emulsion stabilisers to hold the whole thing together
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a water soluble preservative
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an oil soluble preservative
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thickeners to create texture
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colourings
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UV stabilisers to stop the colour fading
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opacifiers to make it creamy or opalescent
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fragrances
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reducing agents to stop shampoo from fading your hair dye
Next time you see a TV ad with some silly bint fart-arsing around in a flower filled field, think twice before shelling out on expensive shampoo. You might as well choose the cheapest.
And the science bit? That’s bollocks too. Not only are hair care manufacturers’ claims completely unsupported by science. They’re also unregulated. In the words of one expert, they are “free to use just about anything in cosmetics and toiletries.”
The solution? Try Cosmetics Unmasked: Your family guide to safe cosmetics and allergy-free cosmetics. Why bother? You’ll save money and reduce the amount of chemical shit you expose your poor self to every day.
The Nurse is off to experiment with home made shampoo. Not on herself, of course. She’ll kidnap a fellow inmate… she’s worth it.
James from 32 LED wrote,
Classic, surgical dissection of the grooming industry! Get some social bookmarking plugins up so we can Digg these posts.
Link | September 22nd, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Doctor from dinosaur models wrote,
Well done, Nurse. I am proud of you. If only more people had the courage to blog about this. In fact, you don’t need a shampoo to keep your hair in great condition. Wash once a week with natural soap, rinse in diluted cider vinegar and comb properly twice a day. All shampoos you can get over the counter are full of parabens and other poisons.
Link | December 9th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Decking Kits wrote,
always take caution when using hair dyes, some forms of hair dyes are cancer causing*~”
Link | August 15th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Isabelle Gonzales wrote,
just be careful of hair dyes because some of them can be cancer causing’`”
Link | October 4th, 2010 at 7:04 am